Thank You For (NOT) Smoking

Posted by Abdel Kadz on Friday, July 20, 2007 with 2 comments

I had been under bedfast rest for the last three nights due to dry cough, fever, and a terrible headache. It all started last Friday night. Boy, I didn’t get a good sleep that time because I was chilling all over. I even forgot to buy some meds when I got home. I think that's the reason it became that worse. When I woke up on Saturday, I'd been surmising if I'd even go to work. Having gone on half-day shifts for the last couple of weeks and being tardy almost all the time, I was kind of embarrassed to let Ru, our supervisor, know that I couldn't make it to work. So I dressed up (I didn't even take a bath because the water was unbearable… heheh), and left for work by 7:30. All I thought was I was doing a-ok. But came lunch time, I could barely hold it. With a colleague's suggestion that I go undertime, I emailed Ru and I'm thankful that she let me go home.

I was trying to figure out what the cause could be for this sudden medical malady and I came up with one answer: SMOKING. I have been chain-smoking after our clinical internship, so that will be for three years now. I tried quitting though and I'm happy to say that I did so for about six months. What made me to shy away from lighting a stick was the dry cough that I had back then. It lasted for a good one week. I thought I was having one of those taboo lung diseases like PTB. So I swore to myself that I'd quit.

When I started working in PS, that was the time that I picked up the habit again. During breaks, my routine was to get coffee from the pantry and, after gulping it up, head back to my workstation while most from our batch is out in the Lunch Center puffing the time away. I went with them one time and a friend insisted that I light a cigarette (I'd rather not name her). After that, all hell broke loose. I smoke 12-15 sticks a day, 3-4 every break that I get. I didn't mind what it could do to me. Being a health professional, I should really know better. I even lied (heheh) during the annual company PE when the doctor asked how many sticks I smoke in a day. Was it two that I said? Maybe I just didn’t want him to pry on my smoking and start lecturing me about how bad it is and stuff like that. Thankfully, the X-ray didn't return any negative findings that I breathed a sigh of relief. Yay, my lungs are all clean and healthy. So the vice went on. The only break I get is during my rest days where I make it a point to not even puff a single stick.

I guess I'm living up to my family surname (heheh). Most of my siblings are living up to the name as well. They actually do not know that I smoke though. They may have a hunch, but seeing me smoke in front of them, I haven't done that yet. I'm like the "good boy" in the family, and I'd like to keep it that way. Well, they'll know soon enough, like when they get to read this blog of mine.

But I think it's time that I take the advice of Let's-DOH-It-Senator Flavier about smoking and its ill-effects. I know that quitting is a hard thing to do, so I don't want to make any promises to myself. Maybe I'll just try to trim down on the number of cigarettes I smoke for starters and I'll do that after a week of no-smoke (that's beginning today). Maybe I can totally give up the habit. Or maybe not. Smoking gives something to people like me the same way other people get something somehow from their vices, whatever those and their effects maybe. I know this decision is for the best. As to when I can finally light my last stick, for that, time will tell.